An Update :)

Once again, I have been the biggest slacker ever when it comes to this blog!  But it was recently brought to my attention (thanks Grammy!) that people do actually read this thing.  So perhaps I should put some more (or really any) effort into it.
 
  So here goes, a brief synopsis of the last few months for our family:

• December
• lots and lots of family/friend birthdays (including Adam)
• one wedding
• Christmas and the craziness that accompanies that
• way too much baking and eating!
• stomach flu for mommy (twice!)
• trying to figure out what exactly to do with all of Emma's Christmas loot

• January
• my birthday
• 2 days later, found out we were pregnant again! (best birthday present ever)
• snow, snow, snow, snow, snoooooooow
• started watching a cute little nine month old boy twice a week
• way too much PBS/ Veggie Tales/ Shaun the Sheep
• finally passed a road test and received my drivers license at the age of 25!!! Wooo!
• morning sickness and extreme pregnancy fatigue

• February:
• more snow.
• valentines day
• more morning sickness and fatigue
• a lovely night away from the peanut in a hotel! :)
• not nearly enugh sleep
• our first prenatal appointment!

And that brings us to the present reality... which is a nasty cold virus that seems to have hit our family over the weekend.  Poor Adam got the worst of it.  His fever peaked yesterday at 102 degrees.  Nobody is sleeping well due to very stuffy noses, sore throats and the snores/restless tossing and turning of the rest of the family.    There are many many popsicles being consumed, and the house looks like it was hit by a tornado full of dirty laundry and empty tissue boxes. 

Perhaps that is why I have started blogging again (to avoid actually having to start the housework)

Also I want to be able to actually remember this pregnancy (which seems unlikely due to the lack of sleep and caffeine) so I will be writing little notes to Royling #2, starting with this one:

Dear little one,

   Mommy was so so happy to hear your heartbeat the other day.  I didn't realize how nervous I was that something would be wrong again, until the nurse announced that your heart was beating healthy and strong! I feel like I can finally exhale and start to enjoy this pregnancy.  Despite how gross I am currently feeling, it brings a smile to my face, and tears to my eyes, when I picture your little fingers and toes forming into the ones I will hold in my hands in a few short months. I refuse to believe that it has been almost three months already! September doesn't seem like that far away!  So grow strong and healthy, little Royling and know that we are all so happy you exist!

And because Emma has turned into a little chatterbox, and is contantly saying amusing things, I will share a quote from this morning.

"Mommy, these cheerios are soooo colorful!"
Me: "That's because they are fruit loops hunny"

(and yes I totally let her have fruit loops instead of a healthy alternative because we are all exhausted and I just can't fight another food related battle right now!)  At this point, I'm just happy she is eating something.  We'll try harder at lunch.... :)

A month later...

  Another 28 32 days has come and gone and we are once again disappointed.  I am convinced my body is playing some sort of cruel joke on me.  Before we started trying to have another baby, my period had been super predictable (like almost to the hour) for over a year.  As soon as we started trying to conceive though, all menstrual predictability disappeared.  The first two months, it was late (like 4-5 days late) so of course I got really excited, and took tests and they were negative.  Then last month, we had the very early miscarriage, and this month, as far as I can tell I was four days late getting my period again. 

  I did smarten up a little bit, and waited to take any pregnancy tests. I learned that lesson the hard way last month!  Today was going to be the day  that I tested if it still hadn't made an appearance.  And of course a few hours after I woke up this morning, it made it's unwelcome arrival.   And as much as I try not to get too excited every time, I can't help myself.  I get excited and start thinking hopeful thoughts.  Like, wouldn't it be nice to announce a pregnancy over the holidays!  But that doesn't look like it's going to happen...

  So tonight I will pour myself a glass of wine (because why not, I'm not pregnant anyways!) and snuggle up on the couch with my husband and try to be thankful for the blessings that we do have.   And who knows, maybe a positive pregnancy test will be our Christmas present!
                       and there I go again....

Miscarriage

 So it feels like a whole lot longer than a week since I posted last, and unfortunately I have sad news to relate this morning.  I've been kind of avoiding writing this post, but I feel like since I shared the good news, I should share the bad as well. 

  Last Wednesday was a bad day for us.  I was having some sharp pains on Tuesday night that I attributed to normal pregnancy pains (I didn't remember them being that bad last time around, but every pregnancy is different).  Honestly,  I just thought they were gas pains or something.  But they were painful so I opted to stay home from our usual Tuesday night dinner group.  And I went to bed, still having some pains but not being too worried about them.

  About 9 am on Wednesday I had a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was really nervous and instantly nauseous.  Something was telling me to take another pregnancy test (even though we'd already confirmed it with two tests, on two different days) so I did.   And I found myself staring at a just one line, when before there had been two.  Of course, I fell apart a little in the bathroom.  And that bad feeling just kept growing.  But I tried to keep it together and decided to walk to the store and get some more pregnancy tests thinking, maybe it was just a faulty test or I just did it wrong.

  To summarize, I got home took two more tests and totally lost it when they both came back with only faint lines.  But of course they always tell you that you "can't be just a little pregnant, you either are or you aren't".  So my mind was telling me that everything could still be alright, even though that bad feeling in my stomach was telling me to expect the worst.  Women's intuition is a real thing people! We know our bodies... I also had a little bit of bright red spotting right after taking the third pregnancy test.

  So I called Adam, and being the supportive man that he is, he came home from work immediately, and we called the doctor who told us to come in right away.  We woke poor Emma up from her nap (I had put her to bed so I wouldn't scare her with all my crying) and went in to get blood work done.  I also had to get a shot of Rhogam (super painful!) because I am RH- while Emma has a positive bloodtype.  The nurse was very clinical and didn't make it seem like our pregnancy had much of a chance.  So we went home, sore and heartbroken to wait for the blood test results.

   They were terrible.  My hormone level was at 5.  Anything below five is considered not pregnant. The nurse informed me over the phone to expect the worst.  Although there was still a small chance that I could still keep the baby.  Less than two hours later, we had lost the baby.  It was physically painful and emotionally devastating.  Adam had gone back to work, so I was trying to keep it together for Emma, but of course I cried my way through the afternoon. (and evening)  And of course, Emma is teething so I only got about three hours of very interrupted sleep that night.  Adam went to work in the morning, but when he told someone what had happened, they kindly sent him home to be with us.

   Luckily, we are blessed with a wonderfully suportive group of friends and family who care very deeply for our little family.  We were showered with love and offers to watch Emma.  So we are doing as well as we could be under the circumstances.  We were not very far along (only about 4.5 weeks) but we were really excited about Emma having a sibling.  And we had been trying for a couple months, so I felt a lot "more pregnant" than I actually was.  It's amazing how short a time it takes to fall in love with a new life, even one you haven't had a chance to meet.
   But life with an almost two year old doesn't wait, it goes on in a noisy, busy manner.  We know that God must have had a purpose for this painful ordeal, and we have a much deeper understanding of those who have lost unborn babies.  We are thankful that it was very early on, and didn't leave any physical damage to me.  This means that we will probably be able to start trying again soon.  And although I'm sure that I will always have some very strong emotions surrounding this event, I feel that it is ok for us to move forward with hope.

   I will probably write more about this in the coming weeks as I am working through my feelings, but it feels  good to start writing about it.  And also it was of course painful to still be getting congratulations when our pregnancy had already come to a close.

This scripture had been on my mind, and means more to me now than ever before.  God knew our little life, even though we never will.

14 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 

 ~ Psalm 139:14-16

Big News for our Family!

    So I feel that I must apologize once again for neglecting the blog, but I have a good reason this time!  A really good reason!  I've been a little preoccupied because about two months ago we decided it was time to start working on Royling #2! 

    I have to confess that I was a little disappointed when month one came and went because we got pregnant as soon as we started talking about it with Emma! But last week, two pregnancy tests confirmed what we've been hoping and praying for  :)

      Emma's going to be a big sister!

Most people would probably wait a few weeks before announcing this to the world, but not us.  We like to share things.  I'm also possibly the world's most impatient person so the wait would have killed me.

We're hoping for another one just like this, (except hopefully this one will enjoy sleeping)



Photo Courtesy of Katherine McClure Photography
Also if you click on Pawtucket Wedding, that's ours!

   This pregnancy already feels very different to me.  With Emma, the day after I found out I was puking my brains out.  And that continued into the second trimester.  I just got used to getting up, puking, eating breakfast going to work, puking, going to class, puking, coming home and well you get the idea.... 

   So far with this pregnancy, even though we're just a few weeks in, I've just been very tired.  Like going to bed at 8:30 kind of tired. (Hence the lack of blogging)  Chasing a two year old around all day may also have something to do with that.....
   I will definitely be keeping you all informed throughout the pregnancy, and my aim is to update once a week or so.  (when I can stay awake)

Still Waiting...

So we're just days away from our "due date" now. The midwives seem to think it's more like November 2nd than November 8th, so we're pretty much there. Emma could be here literally any day now! I am SO READY! We're still seeing the midwives/hospital staff twice a week, and we have our next appointment on Saturday. My bp has actually gone down quite a bit, and I've even lost a little bit of weight (due to swelling going down). My blood work has remained the same and luckily has not gotten any worse. And Emma has aced her last couple non stress tests! In fact she kicked the crap out of the monitor last time, we had to turn the volume down twice! That's my little lady! :)
We will start to talk about induction next week, but it's really much better for me and for Emma if I can just wait it out a little more and have her naturally. It's sort of driving me crazy not knowing when she will be here, but I'd rather have her healthy and have less risk for a C-section. So we wait....

Just an update

Lately Adam and I have been spending a lot of time with the midwives! For the past couple weeks my blood pressure has been a rollercoaster of concern and I have been ordered to "take it very very easy". And i promise that I have been trying to do just that, although October has proven to be a very busy month for us.

So this morning when we went in for our first appointment of the week, my blood pressure was down a little bit from last time, but still not good. Strike one. There was also a little bit of protein leakage in my pee. Strike two. So I was again sent down to the lab (where I am now known by name!) to get some bloodwork done. I just got a call from the midwife letting me know that my platelet level has taken a dive. Strike three. So I am scheduled to go to the hospital tomorrow and get a non-stress test done, as well as have my blood pressure taken again, and we'll see where it goes from there...

The good news from this morning's appointment though, is that I am 1 cm dilated! :) So something has started to happen... and all this morning I have been experiencing some cramps which might also be a good sign. Adam and I are just hoping and praying that something happens soon (either we make the decision to be induced, or she decides to come) so that we can get on with life and learning to be parents instead of spending our time driving back and forth to the hospital.

Also, I am so glad that we made the decision to switch our care over to the midwives because they have proven to be wonderful, caring individuals who have been very supportive and reassuring throughout this whole rollercoaster! And we're also very blessed that Emma seems to be pretty unaffected by everything happening to my body. She's still quite active and appears to be growing and perfectly happy!

The world's most unflattering pregnancy photo

Here is Adam's contribution to our pregnancy memories. I still don't know how I let him talk me into taking this picture, but since it exists, might as well share the joy!

Now this is a party!

Did I mention it was an open bar? Sadly, for me at least, that translated into as many Coca Colas as I could possibly ever want! But it was fun to watch everyone else get merry :) No worries though, I'm pretty sure everyone made it home in one piece!

And I think this one just says it all really...

Dave and Sarah's wedding

Ok, first we'll get the serious pictures out of the way....Here's the obligatory belly shot. Less than a month left to go! 37 weeks and looking the part.

. Then these were taken before much drinking/carousing had taken place...

The beautiful bride and groom!!! :) It really was a very beautiful Cape Cod wedding.

And here we have Mr. and the soon to be Mrs. Frigon! Still pretty respectable looking!

Also at our table, we were lucky enough to have the lovely Emily and the ever serious Mr. Johnson.

More Maternity Shoot

These are some of my favorites from the shoot with Kat, but if you'd like to see the rest then you can follow this link:

http://www.pictage.com/543930

If it asks you for an event key it is : Emma

You should also check out http://katherinemcclure.com/ if you are interested in viewing more of Kat's beautiful work!

First Family Photos

These photos were taken by our very dear and talented friend Katherine McClure as part of a maternity shoot we decided to have done. She is also the same photographer that did all of our beautiful wedding photos! Obviously, we like her work :) Although I have to say that I think we were just as excited to have the chance to see Kat as we were to have her take our pictures!

August Weekends

So recently we've had a few busy weekends. On Saturday August 16th our good friends Matt Johnson and Esther Kim were married. The wedding was gorgeous (as was the bride)! The reception was lively, and there was a lot of dancing going on (which may have had something to do with the open bar :P ) Unfortunately because it was nighttime and it had rained earlier, we didn't get many good pictures. But we did get one good one of the two of us :)

On the Sunday after the wedding, we went down to the Cape and spent a very relaxing and enjoyable afternoon with the Eckmans :) There was a three and a half hour Munchkin game and there were ice cream sandwiches! We don't have any pictures of that either (we will have to get better when Emma makes her arrival!)

And then this Saturday Adam spent the day in Boston and attended the Neil Diamond concert (with free tickets from work) while I spent a wonderful afternoon with the Kreylings! Yay for good friends! We had tacos and they were delicious... And when I got home our power had completely gone out! And the landlord wasn't home, so I was a little concerned. But I was very brave and found candles and a flashlight all by myself! But I would not venture down into that basement.... In the morning we found out that the cords connecting our house to the pole outside were old and crappy and loose and it was soon fixed.

And Sunday, to celebrate mom roy's birthday we went for a boat ride on the Charles River in Boston. It also was very relaxing, and there was a ton of wonderful wonderful food! We did manage to take a couple of pictures from that excursion. So here they are.

Only 74 more days till Emma's supposed arrival! Ten weeks!

Preggasaraus Pics :)

This was taken at the Gloucester Arts Festival on July 3rd, so I was about 23 weeks along. Just a bit of a baby belly! And then I proceeded to leave my camera at my parents house and didn't take any pictures until last night! I am now 28 weeks along and as you can see am carrying a very healthy baby belly! Emma is kicking constantly (especially at night) and sometimes I can even feel confident saying things like " Oh that's a foot, or that's her butt in my ribcage!"

I swear that I don't look this huge from the front! But whenever I catch my sideways reflection, it always makes me stop and stare for a little while. Less than three months left to go!

June

So I neglected to post anything for the month of June...I'm a horrible blogger. But I'll try to catch you up really quickly.

We spent this rather frustrating month looking for apartments. And as of June 28th, we found one!!! Yay for perseverance and God taking mercy on us. Pictures will come... But in short, we're very happy with it. 2 bedrooms, dealeded, much more space, our own washer and dryer in the basement, and a seemingly wonderful landlord who lives downstairs!

On the bright side, there were a few happy moments for June. My grandparents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary! My parents threw them a surprise party at their church that went well! It was very cool and very inspiring to see them celebrating 50 years of their life together, and still very much in love. Another happy moment, was a reunion for me with all of my DCC friends in Pawtucket. It was wonderful to see everyone together again!

Ok on to the baby news.... We found out that it's a girl on June 4th! (which turned out to be a very busy and exciting day since Jonah Kreyling decided to make his arrival) Her name is Emma-Jean Nicole Roy. We know it's a little long, but we like it! She seems very healthy so far and is developing like she should be. It seems a lot more real now that we have a name to go with my rapidly expanding belly. I've gained seven pounds and I feel enormous! But I love watching the belly get bigger because it means Emma is growing. I can also now feel her kicks and movements. And sometimes when I lay down inthe evening, Adam and I can see my stomach moving. Much more entertaining than TV!

So I think that's all for the big June news, sorry there are no pictures! We really need to get better at that. People have starting getting anxious for new belly pictures. I will try to convince Adam to stop and take some soon!

More Belly Shots

Me and baby Royling at 17 weeks on a beach on West Island. Adam and I also celebrated our one year anniversary with family on Memorial Day! It's gone by really quickly!

Thank You Roys!

For our "one year anniversary/my graduation" mom and dad Roy sent us away to Kennebunk Port Maine for two nights. It was very relaxing, and we got oceanfront rooms! It was a little cold on Friday and Saturday, but Sunday was gorgeous! So we finally got to spend some time on the beach. Thanks Roys! It was much needed and appreciated.