Sunday, July 18

Mom Fear

  Last night I cried myself to sleep over a blog I have been reading the past few days.   I don't know if any of you have been following little Presley's story yourselves, but if you want to you can read it  here I will warn you though, that it is sad.  My heart is  breaking in two for this couple that I have never met, but has so much in common with Adam and I.  Their little girl is so much like my peanut in that bathroom photo that it makes my throat close up instantly.  We even have those same toys.  And their beautiful little daughter was almost the same age as Emma. 

  The part that really touches me is that the blog entry before the tradgedy struck is one of happy summer activities.  Life changes so very quickly.  And that is really really scary as a parent.  I don't think that I really knew what fear was before I had a baby of my very own.  Fear for my own life pales in comparison to the fear that grips me when I hear of something like this happening to a child.  I have trouble watching the news with all the stories of children being abducted out of their backyards or just never coming home.  It makes me want to take Emma into bed and just snuggle her forever and never let her out of my arms.

   The weekend of the fourth we were haveing an evening BBQ at a house of some dear friends of ours, when I had the scariest moment of my life yet.  Emma fell down an entire flight of stairs (not a small six set, but stairs leading to the basement) I felt like I was going to hyperventilate.  She was miraculously fine (few small bruises on her legs- Thank you God!) but that night I kept seeing her small body laying at the bottom of the staircase over and over in a variety of nightmares.   I understand that you can't keep an eye on your child every second of the day (try as we might moms) and even when you are watching them sometimes toddlers are just too fast and accidents can happen right under our noses.  And that is really really scary. 

     God was merciful to us that day, and I'm sure that over the course of her life we will have many more "scares".  I am not very physically coordinated and her father was a daredevil of a child (not the best combination).  But I don't think that intense parental fear will ever diminish.  I think it will continue to grip my heart each time she is in any kind of danger and even when she is perfectly safe in my arms. I guess it is just part of being a mother, but it is one that I was not fully prepared to experience before I met my little peanut.

My heart goes out to this grieving family who I have never met, we will keep you in our hearts and in our prayers in your time of greatest need.

1 comment:

Charlotte said...

THank you for sharing. I too have that insane fear every day that something is going to happen to my child. It can happen to any of us. You just can't understand that love until you have children!! Love your blog! Im a new follower!!

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