A month later...

  Another 28 32 days has come and gone and we are once again disappointed.  I am convinced my body is playing some sort of cruel joke on me.  Before we started trying to have another baby, my period had been super predictable (like almost to the hour) for over a year.  As soon as we started trying to conceive though, all menstrual predictability disappeared.  The first two months, it was late (like 4-5 days late) so of course I got really excited, and took tests and they were negative.  Then last month, we had the very early miscarriage, and this month, as far as I can tell I was four days late getting my period again. 

  I did smarten up a little bit, and waited to take any pregnancy tests. I learned that lesson the hard way last month!  Today was going to be the day  that I tested if it still hadn't made an appearance.  And of course a few hours after I woke up this morning, it made it's unwelcome arrival.   And as much as I try not to get too excited every time, I can't help myself.  I get excited and start thinking hopeful thoughts.  Like, wouldn't it be nice to announce a pregnancy over the holidays!  But that doesn't look like it's going to happen...

  So tonight I will pour myself a glass of wine (because why not, I'm not pregnant anyways!) and snuggle up on the couch with my husband and try to be thankful for the blessings that we do have.   And who knows, maybe a positive pregnancy test will be our Christmas present!
                       and there I go again....